So it’s Saturday and I booked several flights today. And I will go back to Europe from LAX in mid-July, then go to NYC in early August followed by a trip to Argentina. I got some pretty good deals for all of that and I cannot wait to go…although knowing that it’s just another step towards eternal, rigid restlessness in my life.

Listening to “A Fallin Through” - Ray LaMontagne

“Run away to Sweden, Yossarian. And I’ll stay here and persevere. Yes. I’ll persevere.

I went to the gym tonight where this guy slapped himself in the face all the time. So I went back home where I felt a bit lonely and ended up editing a short video.

Okay, so despite my best intentions I never really started to regularly write down my thoughts here. But there are some weird things that happened this weekend, things that definitely are not healthy for me and I feel the need to be more disciplined about my blog again now. After all I’m doing it for myself.

So where can I begin to tell you about me and my story… maybe by explaining to you why I ended up in Southern California, thousands of miles away from home. As a matter of fact I have always been afraid of and concerned about too many things. Afraid of being alone, afraid of being trapped in the same place and missing the world, afraid of wasting my life and youth with pettiness. And the truth is that all this anxiety ever gave me was a feeling of restlessness. For the last five years I was a hunted by myself, caught in the middle of nowhere, sailing away from one place to another, always leaving before really arriving, before taking a part in the lifes of people. So in an attempt to change all of this, to change myself I moved to Southern California. I hoped that at a place where people are always smiling and the sun is always shining I too would be happy. Turnes out it takes more than just that. And it is that “more” than I am working on now. Mostly.

…and today I went to the beach with a friend of mine